The Next right Thing
by gatorgirl2016
Summary: Inspired by the song "The Next Right Thing". What happens to Cas when Dean dies? Major Character Death.


"Dean, do you really want to spend our fifth anniversary on a werewolf hunt," I asked exasperated as I watched my favorite human continue to load Baby with hunting supplies.

Dean turned around and pulled me into a quick kiss before pulling away, a smile on his face, "C'mon Angel, it's just a routine werewolf case. Go to the town, gank the monster, and them I'm all yours for two whole weeks. No interruptions allowed."

I glared and finally asked, "You promise? We kill the monster then two whole weeks to ourselves?"

"Absolutely. Now, c'mon, let's get going. The sooner we kill the monster, the sooner my ass is all yours," my husband said with a sway of his hips as he headed towards the driver side of Baby.

I shook my head before following him into the car. Sam and Eileen were two states over hunting a vampire nest or else we would have asked them to go after the werewolf. Dean and I had plans to take a trip to a remote mountain cabin and spend two weeks celebrating our fifth year of marriage. Dean had promised there would be no hunting involved, only fishing, TV watching, and lots of sex. I was really looking forward to it.

A few hours later we pulled into Gander Junction, the latest town with a werewolf problem. I looked at the buildings along the main road as we headed towards the only hotel in town. After we had paid for a room and dropped our stuff off, Dean and I headed out to go do some research about our werewolf.

Apparently, over the past few months, five people had all gone missing and once their bodies had been recovered, two things had been discovered; every body had their throat ripped out and was missing its heart. The people only went missing around the full moon.

We spent the rest of the afternoon gathering information about all the attacks. There seemed to be one common thread among all the victims. They were all males and they had all dated a woman named Amy Ritch. Dean and I decided to go stake out Amy's house. It was a full moon tonight after all.

Two hours later and nothing of interest had happened at Amy's house. In fact, it didn't seem like she was even home. Dean and I were about to drive away when suddenly we heard a shout from behind Amy's house.

Dean and I grabbed our guns and headed towards the screams. As we rounded the back of the house, we heard another scream. Dean and I stopped in our tracks at what we saw. One person was already lying dead on the ground. Another was slumped against a tree, blood pouring from his stomach. In the middle of everything, a female werewolf stood over a third person laying on the ground.

"Hey, wolfie get away from him," Dean shouted.

The werewolf turned towards Dean and started stalking towards him. I knew Dean could handle a single werewolf and headed over to the person on the ground.

I kneeled down next to the person, "You need to get up and get out of here. My partner and I will handle Amy."

I heard a gunshot behind me and looked to see the werewolf dead on the ground, Dean standing over her triumphantly.

I turned back to the person who was saying something, "That's not Amy, that's her sister!"

Panic erupted in me instantly as Dean and I had never even noticed a second werewolf. I turned around, gun in my hand but it was too late.

I heard Dean cry out in pain before watching him fall to the ground. Standing behind him was another werewolf. I didn't even think as I pulled the trigger. I watched as the bullet hit the werewolf and she fell to the ground.

I ran to Dean, tears already streaming down my face. I slumped to the ground next to the hunter and pulled him into my arms. My jacket was soaked with blood in minutes. The werewolf had slashed Dean in the back with her claws and he was bleeding out.

"Dean, Dean, just hold on! Let me wrap you up and then we'll get back to the car," I cried as I held my husband.

Dean reached his hand up and cupped my cheek. I shivered; his hand was already turning cold. Dean took a shuddering breath before smiling at me.

He coughed and his lips became stained red with blood, "Angel, I'm not making it out of this. I'm sorry we won't make it to that cabin. I love you Cas."

Tears streamed down my face as I whispered, "I love you too, Dean."

Dean took one last wheezing breath before his eyes closed and he was still.

At that moment, everything in me died. I had known darkness before, but nothing had ever compared to this. I was cold and empty and numb. I didn't feel the rain that had started to fall or hear the voices of the people behind me as they shouted for help. All I could do was stare at my dead husband and I realized that the life I had known before was over. There was no light left in the world, it had all been extinguished.

I sat there kneeling on the ground, my husband in my arms, staring towards the sky as rain fell onto my already damp face.

I had one thought on my mind, "Hello darkness, I'm ready to succumb."

A couple of days later found San, Eileen, and me standing in front of a burning funeral pyre. I stood in silence, tears streaming down my face as I watched my husband's body burn. Sam and Eileen stood hugging one another but I had no desire for human contact. The only person I wanted to touch me was currently burning to ash.

As I watched the fire burn, I wished I would be struck dead. Dean had been my only reason to live. I had given up my angel powers for him when Heaven had given me two choices. I was told I could return to Heaven as an angel but would never be able to return to Earth again. Or I could do like I always did, follow Dean and remain on Earth as a human. It wasn't a hard choice. I had followed Dean around since I pulled him from Hell, and I knew I always would.

Until now. Dean had gone to a place I couldn't find. Behind Sam's back, I had tried summoning demons so that I could make a deal. The Queen of Hell herself, Rowena, had appeared and told me there was nothing her or her demons could do. I had tried contacting Billie, but she hadn't answered any of my summons. I had tried countless other options in the days Dean had been dead, but all of my searching had been futile. Dean was dead and there was nothing I could do to bring him back.

Sam had said I just needed time to grieve and heal but he couldn't understand what I was feeling. This grief had a gravity that pulled me down like nothing I've ever felt before. I didn't think I would ever be able to escape it. I didn't care even if I did.

Once the pyre was nothing more than ash, I walked away and headed back to the bunker. I walked straight to the kitchen and grabbed the biggest and strongest bottle of whiskey I could find. By the time Sam had found me, the bottle was empty, I was drunk, and yet the pain inside hadn't dissipated one bit.

Sam walked in, a depressed look on his face. When he saw me, he shook his head and took the bottle from my hand. He threw it in the trash before turning back to me.

"What are you doing Cas," he asked me quietly.

I glared at him, "What am I doing? I'm getting drunk, that's what I'm doing. Dean is dead and I have nothing left. I wish I was dead and I'm trying to figure out how to achieve it."

"Do you really think that's what Dean would want? You think he would want you to drink yourself to death," Sam shouted at me.

I stood up, the room spinning as I did so, "I don't know what he would want because he's dead Sam. I have nothing left! No hope, no faith, nothing! So just leave me the hell alone!"

I started to walk out the kitchen but stopped as I heard Sam say something, "I know you're lost, and I know all hope is gone but you must go on. You must keep fighting because that's what Dean would want. You have to live and do the next right thing."

I walked up to Sam and stabbed him in the chest with my finger, "You can keep fighting and going on and doing the next right thing because I can't. Obviously, you didn't care for Dean like I did."

I felt Sam freeze and realized I had hit a nerve. Sam pushed my hand away slowly.

"How dare you. I cared more about my brother than just about anyone on this planet. We have died for each other more than once and fought to bring each other back multiple times. Dean and I made a promise a few years ago after you lost your powers. We agreed that should either of us die, we would let them go. No deals or curses or spells to bring them back. So, that's what I'm doing. Dean dying has nearly killed me too, but I made a promise to Dean to keep living and that's what I'm gonna do."

With that, Sam walked out the kitchen, leaving me alone. I shook my head before grabbing another whiskey bottle and heading to my room. I slumped onto my bed and turned over facing the wall. I sobbed when I saw the picture of Dean and I hanging on the wall.

I closed my eyes and let darkness overwhelm me. Ever since Dean had died, I felt like I was living in an eternal darkness. I wondered if there could ever be a day beyond this night. I didn't know anymore what was true. Without Dean, I couldn't find my direction in life. I was alone without Dean. He was the only star in my life and his light was the only thing that guided me through it.

The next few months seemed endless and yet flew by all at the same time. I barely lived. I ate maybe once a day. If I showered once a week, it was a miracle. I only left my room to go to the bathroom or the kitchen.

I was sitting in my bed looking through a photo album of Dean and I when a note fell out. I opened it and began to read.

"_My Dearest Angel,_

_I want you to know you have made me happier than I ever imagined I could be. You have brought joy, laughter, and love into my life. I will never be able to thank you enough for pulling me out of Hell and loving me since. I promise to love and adore you until the day I die. I hope that day is decades from now. I hope we live to be old and gray and senile. By that point, there will only be one journey left for us to take._

_With our lifestyle, that may not be the case. If I leave this Earth before you, promise me you won't give up. Promise me, you'll keep living and hunting and helping Sam and Eileen. Keep living for the both of us. Make sure at least one of us gets to be old and gray and senile. Only then, can you join me again._

_I will love you forever and then some,_

_Dean_

Tears poured down my cheek and I fell to the floor as I read and re-read Dean's note. I read it five more times before finally letting it drop into my lap. I took a deep breath and smiled for the first time in a long time. After months of being alone, I felt like Dean was here. I knew what I had to do. I wanted to honor Dean's last wishes and I knew it was time to start living again. But, how to rise from the floor when it wasn't Dean I was rising for. I knew I just had to do the next right thing.

I got up off the floor and took a step towards the door. I took another step and another. These small steps were all that I could do to ensure I did the next right thing. I knew I couldn't look to far ahead because it was too much to take. So, I broke my goals to simpler things. I broke them down to my next breath and then my next step. My next choice was to take a shower and shave, easy choices that I could make.

For the first time in months, there seemed like there was finally a light I could see. I knew I just had to continue walking through the night I was currently in. The only thing I could do was blindly stumble towards the light. Once the dawn came, what comes then? It was clear that everything would never be the same again.

So, I tried to start living again. I ate and showered and talked to Sam and Eileen. I even started helping do research for the cases they went on. One day, they requested my help on an actual case, but I didn't know if I was ready.

I stood in my room looking at a picture of Dean when Sam walked in.

"C'mon Cas, it's time. It's what Dean would have wanted."

I sighed but I made the choice to hear that voice and do the next right thing. I grabbed my coat and followed Sam out my room.

As the door shut, I woke with a start. I looked around in a panic until my eyes landed on my sleeping husband. I reached for his hand and intertwined our fingers. I watched as the moonlight reflected off our wedding bands. I looked up at Dean's face. He was smiling even in sleep.

I thought about my nightmare and was glad Dean and I had given up hunting the day I gave up my angel powers and we got married. I leaned over and gave my husband a light kiss on his cheek.

I pulled away as I felt Dean's eyelashes flutter.

I stared into beautiful green emeralds and nearly sobbed as I whispered, "Hello Dean."


End file.
